Thursday, July 29, 2010

Universal question #1: Why do women go to the washroom in groups?

It might be slightly ambitious of me to attempt to answer such a monumental question in my first post, but I will try.
Most of us have been in this situation: You're on a date with your girlfriend and some of her friends, or else your friend's girlfriend, or maybe your co-worker's.  Maybe you don't even know how these females know each other, but they do.  Or perhaps they don't know each other at all, who knows?  Regardless, as soon as one stands up and excuses herself to use the Ladies' room, there is a mass exodus of females.
Now, for all of you males out there, this is not an indication that females desire company when they use the facilities.  Oftentimes, the need of the restroom is merely an excuse.  Sure, we might use it if we have to, but there is usually an ulterior motive involved.
Usually, we want to talk about you in a place where you have no way of overhearing us.
There, the big secret is out: 90% of the time, when girls go to the washroom in groups, it is to talk about guys -- whether it's the guys they're with, the guys they should be with, or the guys they wish they were with. 
Think of it as our locker-room.  Only we don't just discuss sexual performance, but also emotional compatability, shared interests, different interests, intellectual things, and a bunch of other crap the average male has no interest in. 
Plus, on rare occasions, the conversation has nothing to do with you at all.  Sometimes, women want to be able to discuss matters that we know most males have absolutely no interest in.  Like knitting, or the opera, or whatever else most females discuss in these situations.  In this environment, it doesn't inconvenience you in the least.
However, regardless of the topic of conversation, the main goal of females attending the washroom in packs is just that: conversation.  You will probably also notice that one female who has just returned from the restroom will immediately get up and follow the next female in, regardless of the fact that she has just left the place. 
So perhaps the next time you males find yourselves contemplating, 'Why do they all need to use the washroom at once?', perhaps you will stop to reconsider, 'Just what are they saying about me in there?'